at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
