Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
