no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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