I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
