Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
