someone get that fucking seahorse.
I cut my penus on the lid.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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