How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize