i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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