I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
