3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
