No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
