seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
