You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
