This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He shit in the fireplace
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
