So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
