you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
