he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
