Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
