Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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