She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
