sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
