WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.