He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
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The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
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Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
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