You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
