still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
