Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I don't want my vagina anymore.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
