How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We have started to decorate penises.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
