why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
