Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
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i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
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I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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