how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize