We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
