The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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