Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Shame is for Republicans.
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