My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
