why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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