what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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