At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
