so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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