i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
