So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
