Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
