I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
