I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
