So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
