I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
