i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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