The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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