This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
