you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Randomize
