How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I was not drunk enough for that final.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
