i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
where am i from again
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
