Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
