Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.