It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship