Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.