Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
