Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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