are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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