this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
