This is not my ceiling
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Operation Purity has been aborted
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
