Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize