She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
