I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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