my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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