then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
