Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
