playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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