He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I could fuck to npr.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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